#5 PROPERTIES OF LOVE: DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN
(1 Cor 13:4-7)
A. Paul stated that “love does not seek its own”; we’re
more familiar with the term “selfish”, “love is not…”
1. Learning NOT to be selfish was probably one of
the first lessons our parents tried to teach us.
a. They taught us how to share, & how to show
an interest in others.
2. The problem of selfishness is understandable,
because we are naturally interested in ourselves.
a. For example when you pull out those old class
photos who is the first person you look for?
B. God’s word does not hide the fact that even among
the great men of faith there were selfish attitudes.
1. James & John were thinking only of themselves
when they asked Jesus for the highest places of
honor in the Kingdom (Mark 10:37).
a. Their selfishness caused the other apostles to
become indignant – probably because they
didn’t think of it first.
2. We would be hard-pressed to find a character in
the Bible, who was spoken of at length, who did
not manifest some degree of selfishness.
C. Selfishness is difficult to see in ourselves, but it’s not
hard to pick out in others.
1. We probably have all met people who acted as
though the world revolved around them.
a. What was important to them was that everything met with their approval – selfishness is a
destructive mentality.
Jas 3:13-15 –
[instability, disorder, disturbance] & every evil thing are there.
[There are churches where there is always, it seems, a
state of unrest & uneasiness among the members due to
the fact that some people always “seek [their] own” – the
church at Corinth was facing that struggle.
Lenski wrote, he said, “Cure selfishness, & you’ve just
replanted the garden of Eden.”
Another author wrote, “He who lives only to benefit
himself, confers upon the world a benefit when he dies.”]
I. LOVE IS NOT PREOCCUPIED WITH SELF
A. “Love does not seek its own” (NKJV).
1. “Is not self-seeking” (NIV). “Does not seek what is
its own” (Darby). “Does not demand its own way”
(NLT)
B. The combined meaning of these various translations
is that love does not seek its own interests or its own
advantages; love is not preoccupied with self.
1. This is especially important today because we
live in an age of radical individualism; people are
consumed with their own self-interest.
2. They place themselves at the center of their
lives, which is the rightful place of God.
3. This all-consuming focus on self is completely
contrary to the love of a Christian.
C. What if Jesus had been a selfish man?
1. There would have been no cross & thus no
redemption for us.
Luke 22:27 – For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves?
Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who
serves.
Matt 20:26-28 – …but whoever desires to become great among you, let him
be your servant. 27 And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be
your slave — 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to
serve, & to give His life a ransom for many.
Rom 15:3 – For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "The
reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me."
D. What if the apostles had been selfish men?
1. They certainly wouldn’t have made the sacrifices
they did to honor the name of Jesus Christ.
1 Cor 4:9-13 – For I think that God has displayed us, the apostles, last, as
men condemned to death; for we have been made a spectacle to the
world, both to angels & to men.
1 Cor 9:19 – For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a
servant to all, that I might win the more
1 Cor 10:32-33 – Give no offense, either to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the
church of God, 33 just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my
own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.
2 Cor 12:14-15 – Now for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will
not be burdensome to you; for I do not seek yours, but you. For the children
ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. 15 And I
will very gladly spend & be spent for your souls; though the more
abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.
E. This was not an easy example for the Corinthian
church to follow (or any of us for that matter).
1. They had insisted on their rights & freedoms to
eat foods offered to idols, even if that liberty hurt
the conscience of someone (1 Cor 8-10).
1 Cor 8:13 – Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never
again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble
Rom 14:15 – Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are
no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom
Christ died.
2. They also used their spiritual gifts in a selfish
way, which is obvious from… (1 Cor 13:1-3).
[They had not yet come to understand that a Christian is a
servant who demonstrates love, & love is not selfish.
Since love is not preoccupied with self, then it must be
occupied with the interests of others.]
II. LOVE IS OCCUPIED WITH OTHERS
A. Barnabas was a wonderful model of a Christian man
who was not preoccupied with himself.
1. The first time we read about Barnabas he is
selling his land & giving the money to the poor
saints in Jerusalem (Acts 4:36-37).
2. But what is most impressive about Barnabas is
how he included Saul of Tarsus in the Lord’s
work at Antioch (Acts 11:19-25).
a. Barnabas was at the center of that work, & yet
he thought more about what was best for the
church than what might be best for his own
position & prominence among the brethren.
b. Barnabas demonstrated that love is not
selfish; he was not jealous of Paul’s
advancement; he was not envious of Paul’s
apostleship – if fact, he encouraged it.
c. No wonder the people called him “son of
encouragement” (Acts 4:36; 11:23).
d. He lived by the motto: “Great things can
happen when you don’t care who gets the
credit.”
[Great things happened in the church at Antioch through
the unselfish nature of Barnabas & Paul.
Great things can continue to happen in the church today,
when we act as they did.
-- What can help us control the selfish urge?]
III. COMPASSION CONTROLS SELFISHNESS
A. In John 5 we meet some very selfish, unloving
religious people.
1. Jesus healed a man who had been lame for 38
years, & you would think that everyone would be
happy about that, but the Jews were upset.
a. They were upset because Jesus getting the
attention they thought they deserved.
2. They were so selfish they couldn’t even show an
ounce satisfaction over what had happened.
a. So Jesus laid it out the reason they could not
rejoice with this man.
John 5:42-44 – But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in
you. 43 I have come in My Father's name, & you do not receive Me; if
another comes in his own name, him you will receive. 44 How can you
believe, who receive honor from one another, & do not seek the honor
that comes from the only God?
3. Jesus said “How can you believe” acting the way
you do toward others.
a. In other words, you cannot even have faith in
God if your goal in life is to seek your own.”
The story is told of an elderly man who spent $50 a month to lay flowers on his
wife’s grave. Every time he came to visit the grave he would speak these
words, “I wish I weren’t here my dear. I would much rather be with you.”
One day he told someone what he had been doing, & that person said, “I used
to bring flowers & say those very words at my mother’s grave, but since my
father has been sick & in the hospital I’ve gotten acquainted with a lot of living
people who can truly enjoy the flowers & the words of encouragement. So
now I bring the flowers to them.
It wasn’t long before the elderly man was doing the very same thing, & he
never again said, “I wish I weren’t here.”
[The point is that none of us is really living for the Lord, or
loving as He loved unless we are living for someone else,
& showing compassion for others.]
IV. HUMILITY & GRATITUDE CONTROLS
SELFISHNESS
A. Paul wrote, “Let nothing be done through selfish
ambition or conceit” (Phil 2:3).
1. His following statement tells us how to live life
without selfish ambition or conceit:
Phil 2:3-5 – In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the
interests of others. 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…
2. But let’s not overlook verses one & two, because
what Paul wrote here will also help us live without
focusing on ourselves all the time:
Phil 2:1-2 – Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort
of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection & mercy, 2 fulfill my
joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one
mind.
[The cure for selfishness is to be humble minded & to
focus our mental energies on the spiritual blessing we
have in Christ, to foster them in a spirit of unity, & to be
grateful to God for them.]
CLOSING
A. Karl Menninger wrote a book called, “Whatever
Became of Sin?”
1. In that book he defined sin as “the willful disregard or sacrifice of the welfare of others, for the
welfare or satisfaction of self.”
a. There is a lot of truth in that statement,
because selfishness is at the root of all sin.
2. But those who are interested in living for the
satisfaction of God will learn that “love is not
rude, love is not self-seeking.”
[Jesus said in John 10:17, “The reason my Father loves
me is that I lay down my life” (NIV). God wants children
that are willing to lay down their lives for others.
Will you do that today by turning from sin, confessing faith
in the Lord Jesus Christ & being baptized into His Name?]
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